ok we all have issues.  we all are going to have problems with each other once in a while.  But telling someone you were ticked off at them without giving them a reason why is not going to help the problem.  Either this is something you want to fix, and we can work together on it, or you are letting this die because I am willing to help and you are the one killing that possibility.

Forgotten

Pictures in a lost photo album, music left undiscovered in a stack of old cd's, a performer hidden from the spotlight, a friend standing across the room with no one noticing...

I'm not sure if I'm feeling forgotten right now or just misplaced-maybe I'll be found soon.  Lately I've been finding all these things in my house, like these photo albums my mom made while i was growing up.  In all the pictures I look so happy.  Of course i also look completely ridiculous but it doesn't seem to matter.  

Now everything has consequences that don't always make sense-she's annoyed because I went home sick, he's being mean to me so that he'll like another girl...and somehow in the midst of it, I can tell that I lose myself.  Even when I just want to be happy about something, some part of my brain is trying to figure out everything else that is going on.  With this reasoning, I'm always being left out of something: mainly things I don't even want to do.   The problem is that the people I would want to be talking to have managed to find other friends and not be so dependent-they have figured out how to be fine without talking to me and I don't want to be the one dragging down their happiness.  It's nothing I can be mad at anyone for, especially since I'm sure I've missed someone feeling this way before.  In turn it makes me a worse friend because I become self-involved and notice my own complaints rather than listening to what people have to say.  The only time I feel truly myself and with other people is when I'm on stage being someone else completely.  Constantly performing as myself, I can never find the right lines or meaning.